My mom's transistor radio..................

Even before me there was it. None among us in the family knows the real of "age" our mom's transistor radio, my elder sister who's in her early 50's can't remember when she first saw the transistor radio in our home, or in "their" home before I was born in a different home hahahaha anyway, What is it  really about the transistor radio that I want to write about today?

It's been with with us for as long as I can remember, I recall switching it on stormy mornings waiting for class suspension announcements from the DECS (DepEd nowadays), I remember my mom getting so disappointed listening to the lively cheers on the radio when Marcos left for Hawaii during the 1986 Edsa revolution and when Erap left Malacanang during the 2000 uprising led by Gloria Macapagal and Fidel Ramos and I remember my Mom cuddling that radio along with her other important belongings  when we left our house during the Mt. Pinatubo eruption in 1992.

That transistor radio has been with us for so long that it became our source of information on important national events all throughout these yearssssssssss. it has been with us so long that it witnessed how our parents were able to change our lives with their patience and hard work, my mom who hails from one of the poorest municipalities of my country was raised by her farmer parents in a place and time where daily survival was more important than getting a formal education, she got married early and tried her luck in a different city, I'm sorry she "didn't tried her luck" She "made" lady luck smile on her through her persistence to succeed, Once she told me a story how she started her meat butchering business with a P0.50 capital, don't misread it, that's fifty centavos not fifty pesos, just can't find the centavo sign on my keyboard. Her fifty centavos grew up into God knows how much, non among us in the family doesn't really know how much she is worth because she doesn't have a bank account, she doesn't believe in the banking system, she keeps her money  in pails (yes you read it right "pails") old bags, between old books and other odd places.

With her fifty centavos she was able to give us a descent education (We were sent to good schools on courses of our choice), We had a good home with everything that we needed in it during our younger years and we were regarded respect for simply being our Mom's children. 

Maybe now you are starting to think that I probably chose the wrong title for this post, I don't think I did because I want you to see the methaporical relationship between my Mom and her transistor radio;

1. They've been with us since we can't even remember when.

2. They haven't failed us in times that we need them, not a single time.

3. They've been our source of important advisories.

4. They have succeeded in resisting change, my Mom wouldn't swap her radio for the latest ipod or ipad and we wouldn't want any other mother except for her.

5. They both have grown old through the years that they both need special care, fresh new batteries always for the radio and more attention and love for my Mom.

I think they both deserve it in return for all the things they have done for us through the years........

To my big nephew

At your age you don't seem to see how lucky you are for having your mother, I understand why you don't see it because I didn't see it myself when I was at that stage of my life, That is why I love you so much because we were both blinded of our youth, a light so glaring that you don't see what you are holding in your hands and you keep reaching for the other side.

There are certain things that I have to remind you. The most important person in your life would always be and should always be your mother. Take care  of her, as she has taken care of you, Learn to say "I'm sorry" , "Thank You" and "I love You" that's the least that you can do in return for everything that she has and is continually doing for you, She would rather loose everything and everyone in this world but you, I know and I am sure about that because I've known her all my life and I know what she can do for the people she loves, and remember of all the people in this world, she loves you the most, so feel the same way for her.

Listen. Listen. Listen
Follow. Follow. Follow

It's the basic principle to guide you, you better believe me when I say I know what's good for you, because I acted the way you are acting today and later on I realized that my perspective of life was so different from what your lola has taught me and I failed in life, I am still at the stage of recovering right now and I don't want that to happen to you, or AJ or AQI, so please listen and do what you are told to do.

Your life is the envy of every kid your age, even AJ who has a better understanding of life than you do can't at times refrain himself from envying the things that you have, you practically have more than what you need, all you have to do is to ask and you'll get it, you just don't realize that other children don't enjoy such luxuries, AJ would always want things just like any other kid, but most of the times he would be contented on looking at the pictures of things that he wants and hoping better times will come for us so he can get some of the things that he wants, while you, you don't have to wait for better times, because "the times" is always good for you, all you need to do is ask.

And because you are in such a very "convenient" situation, I would like to teach you the principle of "reciprocity", It is simply the giving back of whatever you can in exchange of what you are getting, Of course I am not asking you to pay back your mom with money  for everything that you are getting, you simply can't do it and she's not asking for it, YOU KNOW WHAT SHE IS ASKING IN RETURN, I don't need to tell you.

Of all the men in our family, It is me who understands you the most, because I see myself in you when I was younger and I committed so many mistakes in my life and I am trying to prevent that from happening to you or to your cousins, and from the looks of it you are at the brink of falling into the pit. Don't you ever think that your mom is "depriving" you of your freedom, Freedom is such a broad term that you don't have the right to ask for it unless you understand it fully. We will give you the "freedom" that you are asking for when the right time comes for it, In the meantime keep your wings clipped and restraint yourself from flying away because you will surely fall, spare your mom the trouble of picking you up from the ground and healing your wounds. Stay inside the cage until you are ready, believe me now and I'm sure you will thank us later on for restraining you from flying away too early.

I love you so much you BABOY.

Ten Commandments About Child's Behavior Development

1. When children live with encouragement, 

     They develop CONFIDENCE.

2. When children live with tolerance,

    They learn to be patient

3. When children live with criticism,

    They learn to CONDEMN.

4.  When children live with ridicule,

     They learn to be SHY.

5.  When children live with hostility,

      They learn to FIGHT.

6. When children live with praise,

     They learn to APPRECIATE.

7.  When children live with shame,

      They learn to feel GUILT.

8.  When children live with security,

     They learn to have FAITH

9.  When children live with approval,

     They learn to LIKE THEMSELVES.

10. When children live with acceptance,

      They learn to find LOVE.

THE EVILS OF OVER PROTECTION

Over protection is called "momism". It involves smothering of the child's growth. Over protecting mothers watch over their children constantly, protect them from the slightest risk, overly clothe and medicate them. They make up their mind for them in every opportunity. Different parental motivations may lead to over protection.

Over protection can decrease the urge to explore and take risks. And to the over protected children, other children and adults may seem to be awesome frightening figures. When the child's desire to test independence are thwarted, he is frustrated. It sows the seeds of aggression and hostility in the child-parent relationship.

The mother's anxiety about the world is readily transmitted to the child. Then it provides a fertile ground for phobias, as well as for physical illnesses which may be unconsciously

encouraged by the mother if she has hidden motives to keep the child at home with her.

Over protection may also cause excessive shyness and thus children as adults might not be able to express themselves properly and may not be able to make decisions independently. Ultimately it may result in the following symptoms-Temper Tantrum, Anger Spasm, Failure in School and School Phobia etc. All these end up in the imparting of an inadequate personality to the child. Such children often reach adolescence and early adulthood feeling inadequate and threatened by a dangerous world.

Closely related to over protection is Restrictiveness. Here the parents rigidly enforce restrictive rules and standards, and give the child little freedom for growing his own way. It was concluded in a study that while restrictiveness fosters a well controlled socialized behavior, it also tends to nurture fear, dependency, submission, repressed hostility and some dulling of intellectual striving. Often, too extreme behavior on the part of the adolescent is a way of rebelling against severe restrictions.

misspelled again......................

As a child, i fervently wished i had a regular name like joey or roel. My name which came from a city's name half way across the globe is 10 out of 10 times misspelled or mispronounced.

I hate it, I hate it every time i have to register for an event or a raffle promo and someone has to write my name for me, whenever someone ask me " your name please, sir", the first thing that pops up in my mind is "here we go again.....................here are the "things"they spell my name with;

Aris

Irish

Aries

Ires

Iris

I can remember one guy writing down my name as "Angeles"...how worse can it get (question mark here, messed up keyboard), there are times that out of desperation I would make a request to write down my name myself, just to get over with it, and as if misspelling my name isn't enough, most of these people would exclaim (after I write down my name);

"Ah ganun pala.....parang pambabe sir ah......"

Instead of apologizing for misspelling your name, these people would rather "insullt" you for having a feminine name. Talk about manners.

So, what's in a name (question mark here)

While writing this I suddenly grew interested of the real meaning of my name, here's what one website says;

(http://www.kabalarians.com/cfm/DisplayNameAnalysis.cfm)

Your First Name of: Aires

---

Public Viewing You can view up to 10 complimentary first name analyses on our web site. Names viewed: 1    Names left: 9 Become a Premium Web Site member and enjoy unlimited access and extended detail on each name.

Below is a brief analysis of the first name only. For an analysis of your full name and destiny, see our full free Name and Birth Date Report service for further details.

• Your name of Aires creates a quick, clever mind capable of grasping and assimilating new ideas.
   
• You are rather studious, mentally challenging each new idea before accepting it.
   
• Because you learn so quickly you have little patience with those whose mental processes are somewhat slower, and you could become supercilious or somewhat "know it all" in your attitude.
   
• This characteristic could make you rather unpopular with your associates.
   
• Although you are very knowledgeable and intelligent, you often find spontaneous verbal expression difficult.
   
• You crave friendship, understanding, love, and affection but your reserved manner appears forbidding to others.
• Although the name Aires creates the urge to be reliable and responsible, we emphasize that it limits self-expression and friendly congeniality with a moody disposition.
   
• This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the heart, lungs, bronchial area, worry, and mental tension.

 Don't wanna accept it, but for the sake of being true to myself, the things mentioned in this "analysis" are almost completely true as far as I am concerned, It amazes me how  a "name" given to you by your parents (in my case, my eldest sister) shape what kind of a person you will be, whether this is a coincidence or not is something I wouldn't know.

My eldest sister who gave me my name, also named my 2 children with same first name:

Aires Jashua (A.J), as if spelling "Aires" isn't hard enough, His second name is "Jashua" instead of "Joshua"

Aires King   (Aqi)

With the meaning of my name that website gave me, I wish I can rename my children.

I bet you are now dead curious about the meaning of your name, Go check. I gave you the website didn't I (question mark)

Waiting for the "breaks"

I've been having a difficult time recalling the names of people that I have to write letters to on this blog, so I decided to take a break and write about something else, it's about something that I have observed about "Life".

I have an eleven year old son, (stop computing, I know. I know. I got married early, I broke family tradition hahaha). He is currently on his 5th grade at school where he remains to be the top student of his class since his nursery days,at a very young age we have introduced to him the concept of  reality and the difference between someone who works hard and someone who gets the "breaks". Here are the things we have taught him;

1. Life is full of twists and turns, do your best and wait for your break hoping it will come.

2. How intelligent you are is not a yardstick on how much money you will make, I've seen a lot of dumb people make their first million at a very young age.

3. Life is never simple as we were taught it is, the old concept was, study hard, find a job and you will make a lot of money if your transcript of records looks good. Damn it, I did so well in school and I'm not earning that much today.

4. It's important to establish a "network of friends". Most of the time it is not what you know that matters, It's who you know.

Don't take it against me, I am not in anyway undermining the importance of education, I am not teaching my child to just sit down there  and wait for his "break" to come, I used to be an advocate of education, I  was  an educator myself, what I am trying to teach my child is what "reality" is in the battlefield of life, so as to discount the possibility of him getting disgusted on how "unfair" life is when he realizes how hard he works and he is still not getting the things that he wants. Believe me, I know how that feeling can ruin your sense of self-value, I know how shattered someone could feel when you have more thoughts in your brain than money in your pocket, I know how it feels seeing people get very well paid for doing things so poorly, when you know you can do much better but you don't get the chance because you don't know enough number of "people" to get you there.

Our elders would always say, "Life is a wheel"................... you just have to pray hard that yours is not flat.........

you were not even there!

There is an instinct in a woman to love most her own child - and an instinct to make any child who needs her love, her own.  ~Robert Brault

I've known  you as my mother for as long as I can remember, you were there to catch me when i stumbled the first time I tried walking. you were there rushing your troops on my first day at kindergarten, and i remember  kissing you at my high school graduation, i remember causing you pain in my days in college when I went astray from the path that you told me to follow, you raised me up in such a strict environment for reasons that i didn't understand,   after each scolding you would always tell me "you'll understand all of these things that i am telling you when you become a parent yourself"   i got so disappointed and at times infuriated for every "NO" that i got every time I asked permission to go out,  for some minutes in my younger years I HATED YOU, I hated you for fetching me up from my prom night at 11:00 pm just when the fun was just starting, I hated you for making me stay at home when the whole class was enjoying the sun at the beach, i hated you for checking the time every night when i come home and making sure I get what I "deserved" for coming home five minutes "late", now that I am in my thirties and am a parent myself I've learned to understand you, I've learned the reason for every "NO" that you gave me,  I HATED YOU FOR A MILLION REASONS and I'VE LEARNED TO LOVE YOU FOR JUST ONE REASON; FOR BEING MY MOTHER.

Now that I am older I've realized how you stood by my side through my better years and my darker times as a person, you've been my shield from the eyes of the people who's only thing was to peek at my failures, you fought for me and the "NO's" were your way of molding me into a responsible person, of making me think that there are better things to do than go out all night partying, that there are more productive things to get into than enjoying the sun at the beach, that an hour at home reading a book or spending time with your family is better than a million hours with people whom you call your friends. I haven't thanked you yet, I hope I can one of these days. i hope i can thank you for giving my children a good father, haven't told you that i love you either, i hope i can one of these days, I hope I can tell you how much I love the way you raised me, I love you so much for making me hate you.

MOMMY, how were you able to be there by my side and lift me up each time I was down and shed my tears each time I was hurt WHEN YOU WERE NOT EVEN THERE WHEN I WAS BORN.