Ten Commandments About Child's Behavior Development

1. When children live with encouragement, 

     They develop CONFIDENCE.

2. When children live with tolerance,

    They learn to be patient

3. When children live with criticism,

    They learn to CONDEMN.

4.  When children live with ridicule,

     They learn to be SHY.

5.  When children live with hostility,

      They learn to FIGHT.

6. When children live with praise,

     They learn to APPRECIATE.

7.  When children live with shame,

      They learn to feel GUILT.

8.  When children live with security,

     They learn to have FAITH

9.  When children live with approval,

     They learn to LIKE THEMSELVES.

10. When children live with acceptance,

      They learn to find LOVE.

THE EVILS OF OVER PROTECTION

Over protection is called "momism". It involves smothering of the child's growth. Over protecting mothers watch over their children constantly, protect them from the slightest risk, overly clothe and medicate them. They make up their mind for them in every opportunity. Different parental motivations may lead to over protection.

Over protection can decrease the urge to explore and take risks. And to the over protected children, other children and adults may seem to be awesome frightening figures. When the child's desire to test independence are thwarted, he is frustrated. It sows the seeds of aggression and hostility in the child-parent relationship.

The mother's anxiety about the world is readily transmitted to the child. Then it provides a fertile ground for phobias, as well as for physical illnesses which may be unconsciously

encouraged by the mother if she has hidden motives to keep the child at home with her.

Over protection may also cause excessive shyness and thus children as adults might not be able to express themselves properly and may not be able to make decisions independently. Ultimately it may result in the following symptoms-Temper Tantrum, Anger Spasm, Failure in School and School Phobia etc. All these end up in the imparting of an inadequate personality to the child. Such children often reach adolescence and early adulthood feeling inadequate and threatened by a dangerous world.

Closely related to over protection is Restrictiveness. Here the parents rigidly enforce restrictive rules and standards, and give the child little freedom for growing his own way. It was concluded in a study that while restrictiveness fosters a well controlled socialized behavior, it also tends to nurture fear, dependency, submission, repressed hostility and some dulling of intellectual striving. Often, too extreme behavior on the part of the adolescent is a way of rebelling against severe restrictions.