"Sally"........that girl.

I heard a song one day during those times, and for no apparent reason at all  I started referring to you as “Sally”, I hope you remember that it’s you.

You are one of the most patient persons  that I’ve ever known, and one of the prettiest as well. You just stood there waiting for me to come back, and I did, every time my relationship with other women fails I’ll come back to you and you accepted me, my youth blinded me with the gravity of pain that I was causing you,

I’m sorry.

I think it was the purity of your love and your soul that made you stood by me through those long years, you never attempted to start a relationship with anyone else while I was away doing my stupid things, you just stood there and talked about me with our friends as if a strong relationship was going on between us, while your doing that and holding on, hoping time will change the way I look at relationships,  I was figuratively miles  away doing God knows what.

My parents liked you so much, and we practically known each other since time immemorial, we had the same faith, It was almost perfect, something just went wrong, ME.

I invented the concept of WANTING MORE, and it gave me a lot of failures and more importantly taught me a LOT of lessons in life,  There was a time when I was at the brink of giving up on life, everything failed on me and I was trying to find a way out and I thought of you, after so many years of taking you for granted I called you up and I asked you to pull me out of the abyss I was in to, how inconsiderate can I get?

After turning my back on you in a countless number of times, and leaving you behind for women after women, I called you up and asked you to “MARRY ME” and I said let’s get married tomorrow, Funny how I heard your mom furious at the background after knowing that it was me on the other line, she has all the reasons in the world to act the way she did. You are such a nice person that you didn’t even talked about all the stupid things that I’ve done or how I took you for granted for so long, you just asked me one question and that was enough to stop me from asking you to get married the next day.

“O bakit mamalagwa ka?”

And I paused and I thought of the question, It was a million questions in one, in effect you asked me why I was trying to drag you in a sprint to the aisle when I had all the time to prepare for everything but I didn’t because I was pre occupied with dashing into the midst of the temptations of the world, It was me, It was solely me who was responsible of messing up what could have been a perfect relationship and a perfect you.

I just want you to know that, that day that I asked you to get married, I meant it, but after you asked me that question, I came to realize that you were right, there was no need to rush things on your part because you have a very peaceful life, you were so composed that you were able to find peace despite me, you were so sure of yourself that “you just stood there” my world broke down but you were still there with or without me, you were peaceful.

I don’t remember how that phone conversation ended, and never did I remember you saying “NO” to my proposal, you just asked me that question and that’s all I can remember.

Thank You.

Thank you for making me realize that I was asking you to marry me for the wrong reason, I was shattered and I thought marrying you would put the pieces back together, you were right for asking me that question, in effect you  also said that you were not in anyway responsible for the mess I got into, why would I ask you to go into the middle of it and protect me from the pains I was into, how irresponsible can I get?

The smile on your face didn’t fade out all through these years, I see that you are so happy with what you have right now. I just want you to know that I never regretted knowing you, what’s regretful is what I was the times that I had you.